Stupid Things

They have a tendency to show up around Christmas. Though some of them exhibit their stupid tendencies year ‘round. Ponder if you will…

1. Keurig Single Serve Coffee Makers. A year ‘round stupid. Spend $120 for a machine that can only brew 8 ounces of coffee at a time, using special “brew pots” about the size of a diner coffee creamer container which cost upwards of $6 apeice. Walmart – 12 cup Mr. Coffee; $14. 250 coffee filters; $1.19. 1 lb. of Boyer’s Denver Blend Coffee; $7. In combination, about 48 pots or 576 cups of coffee for less than 20% of the price of a single cup from Keurig. I don’t get it. “But you can get all kinds of flavored coffees!” Yeah, and you can still buy a pound of flavored coffee for a buck more than Folgers.

2. Chia Pets. In all of its various annual mutations (this year it’s an Oprah or an Obama Chia pet), one must wonder – Have you ever gone to someone’s home and have them rather excitedly tell you that they can’t wait for you to see their newest Chia Pet? I thought not.

3. The latest all-in-one tool that can remove any bolt no matter how badly rounded the head is, cut ham slices so thin that your in-laws will never come back, and restore that luster to your car’s finish while you’re wrapped in its fleecy softness. With sleeves. How have I lived without it for lo these many moons? I guess by acquiring tools meant to do one job well over the years, as needed. Mantra: never sell tools or kitchen ware (also tools), or firearms. Until you’re dead, of course.

4. The Sears Hammerhead ™ Auto Hammer. OK – a cool tool for a very specific use. The Tim Taylors of the world are drooling and can’t wait to check their stocking on Christmas morning. But I can’t remember the last time I needed a tool that was “ideal for hammering in tight places”. And even pros would be using a nail gun – have you ever seen a carpenter on a DIY network show use one of these things? I fail to see the demand for this one. I’d buy the nail gun – after buying an overkill air compressor first (thanks Dad!)
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Well there’s a start. In contrast, Hot Wheels cars and Yo-Yos are always cool. And men’s handkerchiefs and ball park peanuts. And large plasma TV’s and muscle cars.

See? Buying for guys is easy.

The Best White Christmas Ever!

Not much else to say!